Our lives have changed due to COVID-19. We have found
ourselves in different, difficult, and uncertain times with our jobs, careers,
families, and finances.
How we work, socialize, and live with one another has
changed.
How we communicate with each other has also changed.
Limited are the face-to-face interactions with bosses,
co-workers, clients, colleagues, customers, extended family members, and
friends.
Increased, however, are the bonding moments with immediate
family members, such as, children, husbands, wives, partners, boyfriends,
girlfriends, and significant others.
The way in which we communicate with each other has become
more than the type of medium we use (i.e. face-to-face, Zoom, FaceTime, Duo,
Marco Polo).
The way in which we communicate with each other has also
become a reminder about what we say and how we say it.
The need for adequate, respectful, and loving communication
is important to have right now. The reason I say this is because in the past
few months, I have noticed a shift in television commercials. More often now I see
commercials about suicide prevention, mental health, domestic violence, child
abuse, and stress management.
These types of commercials are a sign that people are
experiencing more stress and conflict in their lives than ever before.
These types of commercials are also a sign that people are
feeling stressed out to the point where they are causing harm to themselves
and/or to others.
When stress heightens and we feel like we cannot take it
anymore, we lose the ability to effectively communicate. Instead of honestly
and directly asking for what we want and need, we lash out, call names, put
down, or say nothing at all. We limit our chances of a healthy, results-oriented
conversation.
Now – more than ever before – is the time to make sure we
pay attention to how we communicate!
Our communication skills must be used in a healthy way to
save our lives, maintain our relationships, and positively contribute to the lives
of others.
During this time, we must become mindful of our word
choice. Choosing our words carefully when we speak will allow us to become
conscious of what we actually say. Saying the right things when we speak
will allow us to maintain valued relationships with our loved ones. Using the
appropriate words when we speak to ourselves will boost our self-confidence and
start to eliminate some of the frustrations we feel.
During this time, we must also become mindful of our tone
of voice. We have heard the saying over and over again, “It’s not what you
say, it’s how you say it.” Saying the right thing – to others and ourselves
– can be compromised by using the wrong tone.
A conversation with my boyfriend recently reminded me of
these two lessons.
He and I were discussing an incident which had occurred a
few weeks ago. He informed me that during that time I had been mean to him. As
I listened and thought back to the incident, I realized, he was correct. I had
been mean to him.
And it had all occurred in my word choice and tone
of voice!
Aargh!
Although he told me he forgave me because he knew I was
going through something at that time, I must admit, I was not proud of myself to
realize I had slipped up and used the wrong word choice and tone of voice with
my honey.
I was disappointed. For you see, these are my trouble
spots. I struggle with keeping it together with my word choice and tone of
voice in frustrating situations – especially with my loved ones.
Over the years, I have gotten better at using the
appropriate word choice and tone of voice in frustrating situations. Unfortunately,
based on the conversation with my boyfriend, I realized I had a relapse and my
trouble spots had resurfaced.
Instead of beating myself up, I thanked him for being
honest with me. I apologized to him with a hug and kiss. Then I acknowledged
the incident as an opportunity for growth.
I made a mental note to myself to be mindful of how my frustrations
influence my word choice and tone of voice. I made a promise to myself to
practice effective communication no matter how frustrated I may feel.
How about you?
Have you recently said the wrong thing to someone you love?
Have you allowed your tone of voice to ruin your
conversations?
These are frustrating times which call for the effective
use of our communication skills. We must be conscious of the words we speak and
the tone in which we speak them. We can use our word choice and tone of voice
to ask for help; resolve domestic issues without violence; lovingly raise our children
without abusing them; and speak power and positivity into our lives and the
lives of others.
The next time you find yourself frustrated in a
conversation with someone, I ask you to do as I will do, become mindful of your
word choice and tone of voice.
This will help you to have a healthy, respectful, and results-oriented conversation in which you will not regret.
